June 2014

Update time. Semi overdue.

I started my Master's program on June 25th! For the next 22 months I will be in an accelerated masters program obtaining my MBA! I can't believe it! God is GREAT!! Life dreams coming true.

I told mom....I think 2 weeks ago that I was content for now with Topeka, she was ecstatic. Things are really falling into line. God has been making a way for me, capturing some joy again. Being content with present situation in life. I'm working in town now, no longer making that trip to Lawrence each morning. Other co-workers in the building are really nice....no new friends. I did however begin dating. (Crazy how I want to censor my own blog because I am not sure of the readers). Not a good look.

So, I'm seriously dating. I have a boyfriend.

I had to let him know. I can't say it should have came as a shock, but it did. My guy said if he is anything like him then it is just something you didn't want to admit as things were changing. You weren't a secret. I made it known I had been talking to someone for a really longtime. We won't discuss time lines on here.

My love for you is real. Everything I ever said was/is true (since I have to watch my tenses on wording). 

Friends are being crazy about it, quite excited for me. First question being....does he live in the same town as you?

AM I THAT BAD?!
Really!

He does. My twin went as far as FB stalking. Shameful. Nini considered google search, people want pictures. And my BEST claimed I withheld information....side eye. 

This was suppose to be an update post.

At times my heart aches, I am still not sure what I am doing here. And how I got here. I thought I foreseen the future (yeah, I know I can't tell the future!) I had names started, planning honeymoons with no sense of a real commitment, relationship, introductions, ring, nothing. It was time to leave my fairy tale. I felt like I was the only one in it. Love struck.

July 4th getaway weekend was canceled. And I won't make it to Denver during July. I will just see Nini when she is here for holiday (so it worked out). I gotta work on 4th (sad face) but it's ok. Beats retail. Texas heat. And sidewalk sales. AHHHHHH! LOL

Planning for August wedding weekend. I need a dress, I was told I was an honorary bridesmaid. I am super excited for her and love. Actually 3 Texas women are getting married in the next year.....crazy how the tide has turned. These same women were seeking love, well one had her guy ,but figured they would never marry. I am happy for them :)

I am not sure about the Vegas wedding since ARUBA is next year :)
We'll see :)

I haven't talked to family much lately. No updates there. Everyone on social media posting.

My parents are great. I am finally not under their watch. Getting out with people my own age :)  I haven't gone out lately. Just friend dinners. My friends don't party.
Fuck, I miss Nina :)  And she gonna be married....life is over. (I wanna cry)

So I'm gonna bring this to a close. Small updates.
Until we talk again.

Love and peace to you all.



   

  

On the Up and Up

I smile again.

And while it was thought that I should let my heart (the past time spent) decide on my future I prefer to use my heart, mind, emotion, and soul. It's been just a few days that we've gone without communication of no kind. I won't say it has not crossed my mind.

But then my phone rings while I'm on my lunch because his work day of teaching summer school has ended. I am brought back to my reality.............

And my reality is family means everything to me. Meeting and communing together. As does shared communication, interactions, social gatherings, similar interest, shared faith beliefs and values. My friends are also my world; and we're close. For the last 2 years I have felt distant from them. Almost as if I was locked away in the tower of a castle (without the bread and water).

I've realized how closed minded I was to this thought, but I am glad I took a chance. I haven't shared my initial thought with him "he better look the other way" sure laughter will fill the room. Still crazy to me as you were topic of discussion at the table that night, yet no one other than Cass and I were engaged in the conversation. I wore a ring on my finger that night, and no one paid attention to that. After you had been texting me all night (while I was suppose to be with friends, as you didn't care where I was if I was not with you) I came over and stayed all night most likely. The days of following your rules, your way have ceased.

Nowadays, decisions/plans are more shared and agreed upon.

And I still smile.