My Best Friend, now she is on my list.

Usually not one for ranting and raving about people but I am sick and tired of the crap, writing is therapy for me. This will be the first of many.

A best friend, a cousin, and like the sister I never had. Not real sure where to start. I am an only child, everyone knows that. Well when I was younger I shared a room with my cousin. We hated each other and never got along. I think as only children it was a part of who we were. We shared a lot of things, our space, and bed. Our mothers were sisters and they dressed us alike, don't think we liked it too much considering we were not twins nor were we sisters.

Once I left the city my cousin and I grew closer, it took sometime it didn't happen over night at all. By our late teens we were extremely close. I love my cousin, she is my favorite person in the world to be around. She was the only one willing to spend time with me and get to know me once I moved to Kansas. We talked on the phone all the time and shared secrets, just as sisters would.

Well life changes people and my cousin and my relationship is at a low point. I went to her graduation this past June, it was a sacrifice but she is my cousin and I know it meant a lot to her. One of her accomplishments and she wanted me to share in her celebration. I was not able to stay gone long because of work and summer school but it was ample time for the occasion.

My cousin picked me up and took me back to the airport, gas of course is high, Detroit's airport is not an hour like ours but its at least a twenty minute drive.Anyway I had a layover in Chicago and when I turned my phone back on a had a voice message (it was not left intentionally). My cousin has two phones and I am thinking one called me on accident because I could hear her in the background having a conversation with someone about me. She was complaining about things I had no control over and basically bitching. (it was all on my voicemail) It had not occurred to me she felt that way and she is not one to hold her tongue. I figured if something bothered her she would tell me naw she went and complained to someone else. I was completely hurt by the message but nothing in me would call and confront her because its not me. I took it and let it sink in.

Upon arriving home I told me mom and let her hear the message. She told me to wait once I had calmed down and then call her. I called probably a week later, she answered ans said she would call back because she was visiting with grandma. It was not a successful call because that's the day we found out my grandma had cancer. My cousin called back later in the day but I wasn't home and she didn't call my cell phone. (guess she really ain't wanna talk)

I got back June 10th and my cousin and I still have not talked about what was bothering her. I have shrugged it off, its been almost a month. Its a pain in the ass because I think she needs to own up to what she said. I'm sure she knows that I heard the conversation because you know sisters, they talk. My mom told my aunt and I'm pretty sure she has mentioned it to my cousin. She gets to experience my grudge holding side. Sure it will pass, but its not pretty. That's just the beginning of my rants, more to come.