It's a very good question. Glad you asked because I am not sure. Maybe it's there just not as recognized in all areas. For instance......I have this thinking (crazy you would say) that most if not all guys when they see me are like hmmm she's is a good looking woman. I say that because of constant stares and facial expressions. The user name speaks for itself...I am a rare commodity in "these parts." You sir may disagree because I have not supplied a "valid reason" to support my claim. But even you yourself see the potential so it must be something beyond my physical features.
Now back to the topic at hand. Self confidence...it has weaken in the last three years or so. I would have to relate it to my weight gain. My weight has been up and down and then steady for a while. Naturally after high school women put on weight because physical activity starts to decline. Well my extra physical activity stopped about three years ago and working out on my own was the only way I could keep the weight off.
Excuses is what I call them because that is exactly what they are........but I let my daily activities keep me out the gym.....too busy with school, work, and needing time to study, I hardly have time for myself. Me time is defined as going to the gym. I enjoy working out but there never seems to be enough time in the day. I am either tired, gotta complete an assignment or its just too late to away from home alone. Excuses excuses.
So this guy...may as well put it out there (my friend with the benefit) is to me obsessed with weight. It's pretty ridicious actually. Anytime we see fat women he makes a comment...I told him to stop because its not nice. He told me about this chick he used to mess with...he practically watched her get big before his eyes. Sad but true. What does all that have to do with me you ask. Well I am self-conscious about my weight because its not where I would like it to be. I have even told him not to discuss weight in my presence because I don't wanna hear it. (one of those touchy subjects you know) So all of that would in some way suggest my reason for a lack in self-confidence. I once told a friend I bet if I had the body I wanted then people couldn't tell me nothing! He said yea probably that reason I don't. My weight keeps me grounded. Being a perfectionist already causes me to think everything has to be prefect and if it isn't then well that's just not good enough. I know what I gotta do and it will be done! My self-confidence has strengthen and before I know it I will be blowing people's mind.
4 comments:
Well, crazy is just the beginning. Most guys think you are a good looking woman?? Ok, opinions are like............ And stares and facial espressions mean nothing. Or they could mean more than you think. Not to rain on your parade, but you do know that mean communicate visually right? Maybe your "gunns", are doing more talking than your face? What does your user name really say? Maybe those parts are why you are so "rare"? Every person has potential. Surely you have seen those pitiful movies where the class star "sees something" in some chick? Shame.
As for your self confidence, maybe you should go get your money back? Weight means nothing. Its just a label. People hide behind it. But someone is banging big people. I don't buy the women gaining weight naturally bit. Its all about personal responsibility.
As for your last two paragraphs, I will group them together. This guy? I know, just another lie unraveling. If you have time to bang, then you have time to hit the gym(though some may argue that banging is the gym). Yes, what does all of that have to do with you? So, you are self-conscious about your weight, yet do nothing about it? You told me about your weight, he told you about his ex. You started baning him anyhow. And then to continue banging him? Maybe you have more issues with weight than him? Is he commenting on girls your size? If so, then he is an ass and lies to himself. And you are an enabler. How are you a perfectionist? And lastly, blowing people's mind has more to do with substance then tangible goods.
Thanks for that. Hmmmm
Well, you know how I am. On to what I really want to talk about.....................
What is it that you really wanna talk about?
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