Boyfriend=Babies

Don't get it completely twisted....although my thinking has been known to be. Not on a pedestal preaching but for goodness sakes why on Earth do these women keep getting pregnant by the first man that shows them some attention???

Finally was able to admit to myself that I texted random people so I can always feel like someone is....hmmm how to say it --- listening or available to me when I want them to be.

And I told ACA, he called me an "attention whore."

Better than sleeping with random women as some men do.

Back to topic....so some more women are pregnant this time around. I just don't get it. Birth control is free ya know and guess what it actually does prevent pregnancy. Problem I think is these women want the babies....do you really think he is gonna stay with you?? Yes it's possible but not likely. Do you think he will marry you.....again possible but not likely. Another baby momma is born. I cause enough stress in my own life, would not want figuring out how I am gonna afford my child to add to that. While it's not of my beliefs having a child outside of marriage is not the worst thing a woman could do....I do criticize those that do but only because I know babies are blessings and I could not even fathom going through life not knowing how I will provide my child's every need. I refuse to get on government assistance. Get a freaking job and take care of your responsibilities. You laid down with the man knowing a child would come if protection was not in place. Yea yea being pregnant is cute and it causes people to give you attention but have you thought about the late nights.......the pacing, crying, baby's mix up of night and day, and the constant number of times babies get sick and throw up?? I have. I think about the diaper changes and the fact that I am not ready to take all that on. I often wonder if I ever will be. Selfish?? No just can't get a grip on that yet. That's why I know I am not having children until I am married and it is a JOINT decision to conceive.

My prayer is I wish the best for all the BABY MAMA's out there and hope God continues to keep you.

This is what it is.......

Competitive Jealousy
Your jealousy is often confused with harmless competition; you do love a good challenge. While generally healthy, this jealousy can often spiral out of control, since its root causes are insecurity or a lack of trust in anyone but yourself.
The cure: Take a time out once in a while. All this going, going, going will eventually drain your energy. Take some nights to relax and stop thinking about your next move (job promotion, party, outfit). Then adapt a positive approach to other people's lives as well as yours. Remember, you don?t need to compare all friends' vacations, jobs and boyfriends to yours. Take a more accepting approach?your life is at this stage for a reason?and enjoy it. Seriously.

I took a quiz to "find out how jealous I am" knew it was about wanting more attention, LOL

My block is off!

Had to throw this in real quick.

It has just came to my attention that my friend is a liar. People around me probably tried to tell me before but I had up a block thinking he did no wrong. So anyway he likes my parents and asked that my dad would accompany him to the store, he had to buy something that my dad has many of. And he runs his mouth always so he told my dad how he came into this large amount of money....that was like a month ago. The other night he tells me he is broke so he called the last person I think he should have ever called and asked for money. He works 5 days a week and earns a good living. So my question is how in the hell are you all of a sudden broke?? ACA that sends signals to my radar....LIAR LIAR LIAR ALERT. I don't get it....why to me at that. I can't help you so don't try to guilt me into feeling sorry for you. Parents said he could not keep his lies straight...too bad. Hope it all works out for you.

Ok, Boyfriend=Babies next................

The Drive

My sex drive no longer exists. It's pretty sad too because I used to be a nympho. I loved it. I won't fully blame you for the lost but you helped. I am too young for this. My mom says women don't have drives....she doesn't know me all too well. So anyway I have been back and forth on this topic for a long while now. A number of things could contribute to my lack of wanting to. Even you ACA have heard about it a time or two. Me always claiming I was stopping then I started again...that goes to my desire of wanting it just would have been better if it were from someone else.
Well it's finally done. No more for me for a long while. Tired of the crap that comes along with it.

He is so full of himself that he thinks its all about him. But it's not. You always tried to make me feel guilty for not wanting to open my legs. Told him probably two years ago when he was trying to screw that girl and me that I was not having it. Now he claims he gave all that up and I still tell him no. Go figure. It's not about you. I don't get a kick out of telling you no...usually I don't want to because I really be wanting it. I mean hell if everyone had predictable encounters then why would anyone do it. I could go into much detail on the subject but that would be wrong on my part and I'm sure y'all do not want to know all the crazy details. I'm sure if laying down with you was worth my time & effort then I would possibly continue.....possibly. hahahaha...........ok that was not nice.

Then it all comes down to my inner thoughts. Why did I engaged in sexual activity?? It gave me nothing. I am done doing for you. Doing what makes you happy and me a dissatisfied customer. Done allowing you to partake of my cookies...take it how you want. I told you before that I was not getting anything from it. My twin thinks I'm so harsh...she should hear the shit you fix your mouth to say to me. Ok so I went off on a tangent. Bottom line I don't want to be discussing this with my husband and realize I have been around the block too many times. Sex is to be shared between a husband and his wife so I am done sinning in that area.

Next post coming soon, Boyfriend=Babies

The Prelude

I have been wanting to write for some time now....have a few different posts to make.

First the drive...sex drive that is.

I spoke to a friend about how I love writing and he shared how I should open myself to a different kind of writing...similar to what he does. I write as a release, it has nothing to do with grabbing readers attention and going on and on and attempting to have a pen image. My blog is my journal....its online for all to see but hardly anyone knows it exists. I let it all out on here...no holding back. Forget what people will think, don't read it....makes me no difference.

Think I will share it with my new friend. He is so incredible. I thank God for my lessons learned.