I smile again.
And while it was thought that I should let my heart (the past time spent) decide on my future I prefer to use my heart, mind, emotion, and soul. It's been just a few days that we've gone without communication of no kind. I won't say it has not crossed my mind.
But then my phone rings while I'm on my lunch because his work day of teaching summer school has ended. I am brought back to my reality.............
And my reality is family means everything to me. Meeting and communing together. As does shared communication, interactions, social gatherings, similar interest, shared faith beliefs and values. My friends are also my world; and we're close. For the last 2 years I have felt distant from them. Almost as if I was locked away in the tower of a castle (without the bread and water).
I've realized how closed minded I was to this thought, but I am glad I took a chance. I haven't shared my initial thought with him "he better look the other way" sure laughter will fill the room. Still crazy to me as you were topic of discussion at the table that night, yet no one other than Cass and I were engaged in the conversation. I wore a ring on my finger that night, and no one paid attention to that. After you had been texting me all night (while I was suppose to be with friends, as you didn't care where I was if I was not with you) I came over and stayed all night most likely. The days of following your rules, your way have ceased.
Nowadays, decisions/plans are more shared and agreed upon.
And I still smile.
5 comments:
Most beautiful thing I've ever read that seems to decrease when you don't give a timeline, names of all of those involved and include what got you to where you are. Almost seems like all others involved never meant anything to begin with.
If you got from this that others involved never meant anything, then you truly did not grasp the meaning behind this post.
Decisions like these don't form overnight. Sometimes they just need to for clarity.
Wasn't clear when I said they meant anything. By that I meant before you left you said you'd be dating to go from me to in a relationship without at least a heads up seems cold hearted and almost similar to how we met so should've expected it. The thing here is hat you made it seem I was the one but to prove it you get into another relationship which would lend itself to the fact that you maybe been talking to this person way before me.
I have been referred to as coldhearted before. Sure I've told you this. I refuse to give it merit because I know what my love is capable of. What I would have learned from when we met is I don't sit around and let life happen. I take control over my life under His direction. And to clarify your statement. No, I hadn't been talking to this person way before. That will be explained in next conversation.
So you were sitting around and life wasn't happening with me?:) We never started anything so thats good you don't. You have no idea what a relationship is like with me so as far as saying you were coldhearted it all has to do with what you've told me before and your actions. The least you could have done when you left here that day instead of acting like everything was gonna be ok was say your peace. Did you do that, no? Just walked away knowing full well that was the last straw. Thats why I call you coldhearted. Seems to me you've wanted to do it before but the coldheartedness in you needed to be in a relationship before you could actually fully break free. For us to talk as long as we did and you to on occasion express what I am to you it is contradictory to your actions after you were here last.
Post a Comment