It's been forever

or at least 4 months have gone by.... today is my parent's 20th Wedding Anniversary!!!!!

I am so very excited about that....esp. since my day is shit. I am sad I have class tonight and cannot take them to dinner. My husband says tomorrow....bum hum bug. I am trying to get him to understand how it is my anniversary to celebrate too! I am sure they need they own time and space, but but I wanna celebrate too! The plans I had on throwing them a party by this time. And what I do, go back to school since I am still not where I want to be in career life. I told Chad at twenty-five years....we having a party, dinner something!

My husband and I have been married 6 months next week. We gotta plan something.....

This day started grand... I was late to work, but for good reason. Took my mom flowers and candy. Didn't want to do a delivery...cost me less to hand deliver :)

As the work day progressed I became more and more agitated. I really am annoyed by this place and those that I work with...May can't come soon enough. In fact, I am having a hard time trying to wait for February.

Well, I have finally been applying for other positions... on my third app. Praying for the best!

All for now! Peace

Forever

GEEZ it has been FOREVER since I have been on my site, let alone wrote a post. I was considering a new Blog once I noticed how many posts I had on this one....but then I would have to remember a new web page. My brain is punny as it is!

And besides...I will forever be a work in progress :) 

I have so many updates and things to share. I have been lost and a rambling mess without my writing. I am in the last week of my 8th course of my MBA. Over half way done! I moved to online for this course...Marketing because the syllabus looked brutal for the campus course. I have missed my classmates...see them in 1 week from tomorrow!

Life has happened so much. I am in disbelief all of the changes. God works!

I really don't know where to begin. I should be writing like a page and half a day for my final paper (my husband's idea) cause he knows I am a slacker! Oh yes, this lady is a married woman! 

We shall get to that and all the fun details.....

Like name changes and address updates.....talk about the pits even though Chad did most of it :) I love me some him! 

I'll be back sooner than later. 

Peace & Love.

CLOSING

TWO MORE DAYS!!!

Can we just say, not packed!! LOL

Work is going well, learning a new task this week. I am glad!

Accounting tomorrow, must finish homework..... ahhhhh

Peace!

As time progresses.....

Drafted 4/21/2015

As this wedding countdown has changed drastically. Everything seems like it is right around the corner... my mom asked/told me this morning how I need to be more engaged in the affairs of my new home. Umm, why do you think I am marrying a man that can think for himself. I don't need to have my hand in everything. I am still a FT student, planning this wedding, working on registry, let's not forget working FT, maintaining my relationship, and making time for friends via phone calls. I think he can make sure our home inspection and realtor is on task without me telling him.

In fact he is doing quite a great job on it all. Even got himself a part-time summer job so we can have money in the bank. I have no complaints. This man is all I've ever dreamt and more. I thank God for him and our future together.

Little Does He Know

We had a moment of lapse and decided to share in our drunken state as we celebrated the new year... he told me the five women he had "seriously" dated and slept with including the name of one that rang a bell. (It still bothers me when we hang out with her mother, who is sweet as pie and loves me) Bet she doesn't know how I feel about her daughter.

Five...can you see how I would want to be with him....five people in my life. That is a story which will never be told, in fact he rather not discuss (I love that even more!)

In fact I can think of a lot of songs that no long apply to me and that makes my soul smile....

I wonder what he thinks when I mention my friend name, I wonder if the same thought is had. Probably not, he doesn't let that kind of stuff bother him. We still discuss when we first started talking and how I tried to be honest about my current status. He just gives me hell on it. I'll probably never tell. Town too small. Still have the thoughts of the best way to get back at me, although I don't believe him to be spiteful. He didn't care much. I guess I am the only overly thing.....sensitive, jealous, self-conscience one. Such is life.

Where was I going with this....

Oh, little does he know how I still think about how I was told years had past since his last sexual encounter...sure mine was the same week or week prior. There has never been a huge gap in my life of being sexually active. This period before marriage may be the longest, next to window after giving birth (still trying to figure out how I'll last!)

He later told me that was not true, told him then how he had lied to me...I've always been an omitter.....

On the flip side of that, I should have known it to be not true considering all things  but knowing the truth allowed me to feel better about causing him to "break" the drought :)

I consider how has this impacted our relationship, if it has in anyway. He brought my engagement ring last fall and wanted to propose in September. Says he knew in July during our country escape. After our fight, he reconsidered. (Good move). We broke up in November and I vowed to self to become better.

I'm not longer singing "Intuition" by Keri Hilson... check out the lyrics and you'll catch my drift!

I found a song to play while walking down the aisle. It's from 1997 and SO VERY MUCH appropriate.

I have never in my life wanted something so much as I want to be his wife, that is how I know we were destined, esp. when I consider our beginning.....1999.

I will then look forward to starting a family, graduation used to be priority (an a Independent, self-reliant and sufficient woman) and for him it is... I was created for pleasure and was told to be fruitful and multiply. Not be alone and create goals that meet Brandi's need. I am so thankful of all the things that God has blessed me with....my husband is my number one blessing :)

OMG when I look back over my life and think about all that I have done, seen, experienced I am so much more thankful. I can handle his hot head, he's soft on me (a process, ok...hee hee). Tuesday night, he made it crystal clear how much he loved me and I was just in awe.

I have started rambling...no surprise there.

Until next time....

Love & Peace.

 

Counting Down

Drafted 4/30/15

 

Countdowns are how I strive and get through things....makes it seem like it is that much less far off.... 8 days until I close on my home as of 5/6.

Small successes. Told Chad just last night how I CANNOT wait to have my own place. He agrees. Walked around the rooms of my home after work yesterday and just envisioned what would go where. Did measurements thought about my cleaning process of making is home ready or Brandi ready....however you want to view it.

Chad commented to the realtor how after we sign I'll clean the place that night and early the next morning he would move everything in, then I would return to set it all up. I commented "see how everything he has said includes me doing all the work?!" We laughed.

Sounds like the housewife already.....but I have to work. FUCK. LOL

 

Be back soon...

Talk about "this is too much"

RANDOM.... When you sneeze do you see stars? I DO. Geez

I should be stressed. I should be going crazy and running a muck. I should be pulling my hair out. Would you like to know my life currently?!

So here we go... I just started a new position beginning of this month that I am slowly being trained how to do. It's a step by step process.

I am still FT in school while FT working 8-5...just finished class 6 and on to class 7 Accounting (aren't we so thrilled!)

While in the home life, my parent say and do anything to get under my skin...like why are you always gone. Why aren't you doing this like we want...nag nag nag.

Who is going to marry you, are you sure...why don't you let xyz do it? Why aren't you doing counseling? How about my main focus, does anyone care about me and school any longer?! NOPE.

I am maintaining my future husband while trying not to lose my cool and just smack him at times. I know I know....marriage is not easy. We're in the process of closing on a new home and the bank. OMG the bank is driving us bonkers with the we need this, and that doesn't matter that you just sent it last week. It was not enough detail for us so send again. Wait....how did you come into such a large sum of money. You must provide documentation of where it came from and why and how much and this and that....just going in circles. I swear I seen the email that said we're approved?! Why all this now.....

Then the seller of the home is old and the roof on the house needs to be replaced....feet are being dragged. I can find a new home thank you very much. We will not purchase a home that needs a new roof no IF ANDS or BUTS about it!

And YES I am also planning a wedding, needing to print/mail invites while keeping it a small affair. I was told that someone wanted to host a shower so need a list of people for that. Then there are other small details, things to buy, plans to decide on.....less than 2 months! bOY oh Boy
Did I mention how I was in grad school? I don't have time for this!

My ankle continues to swell and my PCP won't do anything (I need a new DR, seriously), and bills are due the same time every month.

This is life.

I am looking ahead to when most of these things have calmed and I am on to greater like being barefoot and pregnant. YEP, I said it!

All right. I'm done. **Stepping off soap box.

I didn't mention how that last Economics instructor drove me nuts!

Is it The Way

You love me baby...

Woke up this morning
With a smile on my face
Jumped out of bed, took a shower
Dressed
Cleaned up my place
Made me some breakfast
Toast
Two scrambled eggs
Grits
Grabbed my keys, grabbed my purse
Grabbed my jacket, off to work
Beaming all the way
Down third

Is it the way
You love me baby?

Is it the way.....
You love......

me baby? (yeah)

Is it the way you love me baby?
Is it the way you love me baby?

Four thirty, can't wait to get home(oh Jill, I know you're coming out with us tonight)
Naw girl, I got something else to do
(Damn Jill, I know you're not gon' be frontin' on your girls, come on)

Go 'head, really, get your groove on
'Cause tonight my man's coming through, yes

We gonna have to connect some other time

(well, that's cool, I understand)
As much as I like to shake my thang on the dance floor
I got another nasty, freaky just right way in mind

(I hear that)
Tonight I'm gonna beat the high score

(oooo, girl)

Is it the way.....
You love......

me baby? (yeah)

Is it the way you love me baby?
Is it the way you love me baby?

Jill Scott

Just had to throw that song out there real fast, came over my Pandora as I was sitting at my desk and made me think of what's to come and what has already occurred thus far. Mmmmm

Love that man.

That is all! xoxoxox

His Mrs.

Last week on February 17th, my Mr. Right proposed to me in front of my parents and his!

It was his birthday....we're super excited! I'm getting MARRIED!!!!

Well.... I am super excited and can't focus on anything else, but wedding wedding wedding. I've been planning and making notes since last fall. All of my planning is finally coming to light! (I need to write a paper)

I have a date and venue set, the deposit is paid. I just need to speak with my Pastor, so we can start counseling. My Pastor has already agreed to marry us at a different location other than my sanctuary. I am counting the days!

I had been working on my wedding website, then he asked me and that KICKED everything into gear! Mom is ecstatic and I keep telling/asking her..."you know your daughter is getting married right, how are you handling that!!??

Our attendants are set and have been asked, it's going to be a HUGE wedding and I keep telling them just take me to an island or we can go to the courthouse today!

Since I want to wear a white dress I have to have a wedding and my mom says wedding because my family never gets married and has weddings.

Chad has officially met nearly everyone in my family except my bio brother. We're planning for a bus to drive Detroit here....we'll see. Everyone seemed so gunho just 2 weeks ago.

I can't hardly wait. It is finally my time, time for my life to begin. Time for my happy days. I have been very patient and it has shown through. God is still in the blessing business! He sent me my Mr. Right when I least expected it.

Thank you Lord for your love!

At Last

"My love has come along. My lonely days are over. And life is like a song". Thank you Etta James!!!

I made a quick run to get some caffeine...I needed some after those previous thoughts. As I was driving and soon approaching near where my boyfriend works it occurred to me.....I am being picked up by him in like 2 hours (He is never late.) We have plans this evening like we typically do. He loves me, he tells me each passing day on more than one occasion.

Why are you concerned, why are you allowing it to make your skin crawl. I wish we could sit like school girls and compare notes putting my friend at rest that it is ok. I told her in an attempt to coerce her into telling me...."nothing will make me stop talking to you, unless you were trying to kill me." She laughed. But we've been friends since middle school. Closer friends in high school and definitely after even when another friend tried to steal her away. I let my emotions get the best of me, I am sure that is what he will tell me. I think I am more disgusted at the guy...shit. I don't know. I'm done. I let another post go that way.

He walks with me, and talks to me. He supports me and encourages me. He does his best to help me with my homework. He pushes me. Most importantly, he loves me. I look forward to our life together.
:0)

Messy

Today I received news of my friends messiness. I knew she has been down on herself esp. in the men dept after letting that jerk father two of her children. I think today took the cake and I am at a lost with words.

I know why God took me to another place in life. I now know why he opened my eyes to all that was possible. I've heard the stories of bedding friends, I just had not experienced it in my circle. Not confirmed at least until today.

I tried to console her and let her know it was okay, he and I have not dated in forever. Which is true. And we stopped talking once he got a girlfriend. I don't know time lines and if anything was around the same time....both he and she should be shame. But, I bet she didn't know he and I talked while I was in Texas.

I now know what betrayal is and to think I just asked her to officially be in my wedding. What am I to do, with my thoughts being where they are. I'll talk to my boyfriend. Hopefully he can offer words without talking crap. My prayer.

At our age, I didn't think it was possible. In her case she is caught between two best friends as she has slept with both. One she never gave the time of day, and he adored her. I knew something would eventually happen with her and my ex. All I can say is I am glad its later in life versus when I suspected it. If you still read this Carlos you probably already know to whom I am referring.

Like I said in a past post....I could find the date. I want a man that everyone on the block hasn't bump with. And you know what!?
God answers prayers cause he sent me mine. And I won't ever have to worry about the ones that came before me, I don't know them from Adam and we never ran in the same circle.

And I was suppose to be the one that took every one's man. Tried to tell them, I stick to my own.

This shall be continued.

This Week

The last couple weeks have been really hard for me. Received a disturbing phone call last Monday evening. My parents and I were almost headed out the door to our regular spot. My Eldest male cousin was murdered in his home by his wife. It was an attempt to kill the entire family including their two young children. The eight year old was shot in the leg, and the eleven year old managed to escape the home and alert an neighbor. My heart is hurting and I am sadden by this news. My cousin has been on the right track in life trying to live correct. He survived the streets of the city only to be taken out by someone who was suppose to love him. The wife was charged with first degree murder! Praise Him.

I have been doing my best to remain focused and carry on with life going on here in Kansas. I have assignments to complete and sanity to maintain. Life still seems to be overwhelming at times. I shall continue to take it in strides.

I had a mini meltdown last night. Everyone got to experience it. It was taken exceptionally by him and it proved to me that he is the one for me. We went on a walk and I shared more of what I was going on in my head.  I am very grateful for him. I can't wait to see where life takes us together.

Please pray for my family.

Now if someone would just let me quit school. That is all.