Little Does He Know

We had a moment of lapse and decided to share in our drunken state as we celebrated the new year... he told me the five women he had "seriously" dated and slept with including the name of one that rang a bell. (It still bothers me when we hang out with her mother, who is sweet as pie and loves me) Bet she doesn't know how I feel about her daughter.

Five...can you see how I would want to be with him....five people in my life. That is a story which will never be told, in fact he rather not discuss (I love that even more!)

In fact I can think of a lot of songs that no long apply to me and that makes my soul smile....

I wonder what he thinks when I mention my friend name, I wonder if the same thought is had. Probably not, he doesn't let that kind of stuff bother him. We still discuss when we first started talking and how I tried to be honest about my current status. He just gives me hell on it. I'll probably never tell. Town too small. Still have the thoughts of the best way to get back at me, although I don't believe him to be spiteful. He didn't care much. I guess I am the only overly thing.....sensitive, jealous, self-conscience one. Such is life.

Where was I going with this....

Oh, little does he know how I still think about how I was told years had past since his last sexual encounter...sure mine was the same week or week prior. There has never been a huge gap in my life of being sexually active. This period before marriage may be the longest, next to window after giving birth (still trying to figure out how I'll last!)

He later told me that was not true, told him then how he had lied to me...I've always been an omitter.....

On the flip side of that, I should have known it to be not true considering all things  but knowing the truth allowed me to feel better about causing him to "break" the drought :)

I consider how has this impacted our relationship, if it has in anyway. He brought my engagement ring last fall and wanted to propose in September. Says he knew in July during our country escape. After our fight, he reconsidered. (Good move). We broke up in November and I vowed to self to become better.

I'm not longer singing "Intuition" by Keri Hilson... check out the lyrics and you'll catch my drift!

I found a song to play while walking down the aisle. It's from 1997 and SO VERY MUCH appropriate.

I have never in my life wanted something so much as I want to be his wife, that is how I know we were destined, esp. when I consider our beginning.....1999.

I will then look forward to starting a family, graduation used to be priority (an a Independent, self-reliant and sufficient woman) and for him it is... I was created for pleasure and was told to be fruitful and multiply. Not be alone and create goals that meet Brandi's need. I am so thankful of all the things that God has blessed me with....my husband is my number one blessing :)

OMG when I look back over my life and think about all that I have done, seen, experienced I am so much more thankful. I can handle his hot head, he's soft on me (a process, ok...hee hee). Tuesday night, he made it crystal clear how much he loved me and I was just in awe.

I have started rambling...no surprise there.

Until next time....

Love & Peace.