HMMMM

I feel like such a slacker....I have not written in FOR-EV-ER. Just not like me especially since a lot has been going on and is on my mind. I have not been able to release so instead I became a Bitch and I mean literally. For at least a month I was not nice to hardly anyone. Was my way of dealing with the things life had thrown my way. Not the best option certainly but it worked just fine for me. I am finally coming down and have since healed. I declared that last night. I don't even know that I want to continue writing. I believe it helps because it at least causes me to put what I am feeling out there, but I have been doing that verbally for the last year. So anyway....I'm back and ready for action. Tired of being down on myself and always being my worst critic. Things have been going so well for me and I have not been able to fully appreciate it because I was stuck on stupid. There I said it. Always allowing others to come before me. School is good. Two classes this semester and a weekly schedule so relaxed its sickening. I have some people to make up with...I still would like to just go someplace and be alone though. The whole hating this place will not ever subside. I desire more. More than Topeka has to offer me and that's what it all boils down to. I have big dreams and if my dreams are something I have to accomplish alone.....I'm ready. Everyday I get on this new kick. Maybe it was apart of my anger. But I don't want to have to share with anyone. I think I could be "single" for the rest of my existence. Maybe that's a bit much but I have realized I don't want to have to deal with a man and their man ways. Will have to finish this another time.