Just Sharing

Not sure if the world is ready for these present thoughts, and I don't think I am ready to disclose......so, update on me.

It's something about me that causes heads to be turned and people to hate. I do what I can to stay out of the lime light because I do not like all eyes on me. SO I decided to apply for a position within my organization. I did not want to transfer just pick up additional hours. So I submitted the application. Since I work in Recruitment/HR I can see all applications. Why did one of my co-workers send my application to our boss. We never send transfer apps to employee directors...HATER. Not that it was a secret but damn. It was so out of protocol. I almost brought it up during the team meeting as to inquire is that our new policy.........but I didn't.

School is going magnifique!! I am not only passing Applied Calculus but I am carrying a B average.....boy to get a B in Cal would be incredible. After all these attempts an A should be recorded but hey math is not my subject! Since graduation is finally right around the corner it is time for me to get on the ball to job seeking out of Topeka :)

I have really shut down socially. I sit in the house most nights unless my parents are going out. I should have written a blog on the last incident...or maybe I did must review and see. Ever since my epiphany mid September I have not been the same. I have made some necessary steps for apologizing but the words were not spoken. :)Slowly I have tried to start talking again to friends that I was annoyed with anyway. I am so stubborn. I have told myself its ok if I don't speak to many people...will make it that much easier to leave and not miss anyone. I got this whole crazy notion about being alone. I think I will be alright.

I have told my mom I will start giving her grandchildren by 28 regardless of what was going on...like if I was married or not. We shall see. I don't want her to be too old and if I am having more than one I'm not trying to be in my forty's still having kids. Only time will tell. On a happier note, I have not done anything too rash in a while....even started writing on Face book...imagine that. And oh now that I am getting up in age it's time to raise my age requirement again. I am thinking 27 plus.

I should cut it out with these random thoughts but I write as things come to mind. My crazy trait I guess. Boy do I want to share. I really want to go someplace fun...alone I think. No one at the present time that I would like to HAVE to be stuck with. Oh and why do people think I am a freaking source of information, it used to make me feel good...now it annoys the hell out of me. Find out your own information or better yet if I were like them I would just say I didn't know......ok done for now, still need to get back to the reason I don't want to live with a man. Coming sometime soon.

Side note: When I read these post later...I sound crazy and bitter, at times so cynical I wonder how I function. Oh my thoughts. Later.