Growth

I am so convinced it is impossible to grow and run with the same crowd. I'm in a bit of a predicament though. One of my good friends....more like a sister because that's how we fight....just constant because time and space has separated us. I don't really know where to start. Life even has us on different but similar paths. She is the mother of my God daughter and while that means we have a connection we have never been the greatest of friends, it's always been more like family (Knowing that I need to just suck it up and realize I have to deal with her just as you have to deal with me.) We get mad for a second and get over it...but lately I have been annoyed with her saying how I don't like to go out or have a good time. I do...really I do but this is Topeka. This shit is so whack. She has not lived here in 6 years so when she comes to town she's like we doing something...but man THERE IS NOTHING TO DO and once we get out and she sees that she instantly gets in a mood and shuts down. Had the nerve to lay her head down last night when we were out. "I'm tired and I just want to leave"...hell I didn't want to go out, but I did. So me and the other girl tried to make the best of the situation. We out....we may as well have a good time since we're here.

I am over going out at least around here. Don't get me wrong...love getting dressed up, but once I get there if it's going to be us just sitting...I could have sat at home, drank for free and not smell like smoke by the end of the evening. That's the other thing, I have slowed on my drinking....oh I'm so old....stick in the mud....a bum all these things (that's what I am referred to as.)While I was never a "huge partyier" I realized drinking was becoming a problem, so I tried to slow it up. Again I can drink at home.

Update: Things got a little better....changed me. Decided to start acting my age this year and living my life so when I am 40 I won't be trying to be up in someone bar. It's been good thus far.