Long Over Due x 2

It is time, enough time has passed and many opportunities lost.
( Got the first shot it before midnight.......)
I have not post for what literally seems like forever. My world as I know it or at least what I have been creating the last year is falling apart, from each seam. I hate. And I don't use that word so hear me when I say, this is real. I hate my "job", company, position, present state in life, who I was 1 year ago when deciding to run,

I have never been this miserable in life, even with all the broken hearts, feelings, and emotions. I have become bitter, anger, resentful, I have animosity toward people, ringing phones, rude people, helpless people, lazy people.

NONE OF THIS IS CHRIST LIKE

And to top it off, I want to cut myself off from the world, friend, parents. I just want to be left the hell alone. I want on many occasions to walk out the hell hole that is called a job. It brings down my spirit, my personality, my zeal. I am lacking in fellowship and companionship. I rather be alone and not bothered by anyone because I lash out at everyone. no one is exempt. I cuss often as expression even when talking to parents. I was trying to drink my issues away....then I started another job, no drinking and partying cease. How can one place bring you down so much??? I was smoking. Just all bad. I work two jobs, 7 days a week and still can't go into Wal-Mart and buy what I want. BILLS are the PITS! I did not sign up for this, went to school for 7 LONG ASS YEARS and I can not tell. That place makes me stupid, my 30G education is slowing fading away. I am always on the defense. And heaven forbid I want to fuss or complain about something. I get told to get over it and open my eyes to others who have it worst. I have no empathy, compassion, or sympathy for anyone. No emotion in me except I love my parents, everyone else can go away. And as much as I love my parents it breaks me down when they are combative with me. All I want is a listening ear, advice time to time. If I wanted someone to continue to attempt to dictate I would move to a communism union.
**Shot 2

Found in drafts, not sure when written. Sometime 2011. Prior to second job assume.