More Late Updates

So, I'm back with more updates on life. Shit. Need to read old post to see what I have shared so far....back soon. 

Ok, so back to new career. I become officially FT with Calphalon on August 27th as I was promoted to ASSISTANT MANAGER!! Go Bran!!

I can finally put that 30K degree to use (sorta) and no longer answering calls from assholes! So I left Farmers April as previously stated, and at that time I was just a Senior Sales Associate at Calphalon. My manager had plans for me since hiring me in Oct 2011. So there I was promoted twice in 6 month time....lovely! God is able and I am favored!

I really shouldn't complain so much....think it keeps me humble. This has been an experience for me, leading and coaching others. Being boss. Who would have thought :O) Glad a chance was taken on me! I am grateful!!

Life in Texas still has its ups and downs, I'm broke and would like to move into a less expensive place, but mom says I need to stay so I will be content....least have a safe, nice place to lay my head without fear of safety. (Allows her to rest at night I'm sure.)

I am still SINGLE (that ugly word, ha), but it works for me. I love my space, my time, and not being bothered. I have bumped into men over time since my extent here. Some more worthy than others, none enough to keep around. I've been social with people from Midwest, so crazy I know. Trying to get everyone out of KS! Oh, and DeQuincy from Topeka lives here. Moved like right before me. When Krystal visited during my B'Day she put some ideas in my head. Things I had not strongly considered, but he knows how to keep his distance and I'm not trying to get people off track. He asked last time we hung if I had met anyone, told him how I don't care to since Texas boys have annoyed me immensely  I would like to get to know him though, he is different, sorta weird. I think my type, HAHAHAHA.

Think I am a coupled person worst nightmare....I shouldn't say that, but hey. So on to Woody. Met him June, he is older and likes catering to my drinking habit. Met him at a bar in which his attire kept him on the outside. He insisted on buying drinks anyway, so he became the guy to call. Then found out he was sweet on me, oh thanks. I like to normally blame Nina for this kinda behavior. He lasted til Sept, not bad for an Texan. He has a live-in (woman) but he is not committed. Sad. He does run when she calls though but he was hanging tough with us for a bit. LOSERS, something I didn't need but we loved the free drinks. 

Not sure I should even discuss Wesley ahhhhhhhhhhhh. He had a knight status until time allowed for true colors to show. Older as well. Younger than Woody though. LOL
Met him, well seen him right after I moved to town. Storyline: I was having HH with a friend at Pappasito's and we were just chilling, doing women. Talking, drinking, laughing. Guy walks by, stops and speaks but continues. Nothing. Next week, my friend is out and this guy sees her. Approaches her and ask about me (the friend). (Sign there, lol) Anyway. She is so excited and tells me about it. Then has me show up to this bar...she is leaving but someone wants to meet me. I go thinking she will be there. I decided to go in and say hello, then I would leave. Arrived, met him officially and had a drink figured ok, give a shot. He seemed cool so we exchanged numbers and continued talking. This is like January, we hung for a bit. 

Then I took a 2 month break because he annoyed me. Then I seen him again randomly one night downtown, didn't even know he went downtown....and got hooked once more. Sad! He was 32-33, with a 4yr old daughter. I was hooked on the fact he was a college grad and in school getting Masters. Had a stable job, but lived at home. Loser, ok. Claims he was saving for house, bet he was not giving parents rent or helped with bills. Anyway his player ways caught up with him and I feared he had some lady pregnant so I ended it. Like a DAMN year later. Shit he needs his own post. He seen that same friend of mine (he refs on side, she had boys) and asked about me. How I was doing and yada yada, wanted me to call him. Like I had his number still, nigga please! Get a life! So, I debated it a slight moment. Had a memory recall of Nina and her name for him.... Raggedy. Told her about it, laughed it off and didn't consider it again strongly. I may be bored, but not desperate or that crazy. When I had a relapse last year it was the 2nd chance for him. On to anything else......

Oh. let's discuss white boy Chris briefly. We worked together at Hell. He sat diagonal from me in sight view since I was moved to "floor." Trying to learn my job and not be a bother I didn't talk to him for months or ask questions. Then time went on, and he knew a lot so I asked questions often. He would always help me on my calls, found answers, come to my desk and let me find answers. Nice co-worker. Then my Amy moved near my desk and she and I kept up a good racket. He joined us often hence becoming closer. We always said he was too comfortable. Ha. So, like each year I plot Thanksgiving Sale (Black Friday shopping) and my mom had asked what I wanted for Christmas, it was between 2 things.... big screen or ipod touch. I was soooooo bored during work and this was pre data phone for me I needed some Internet connection at fingertips plus I listened to my ipod often. I was so tech unknown I didn't even know about the functions of the ipod touch. So I decided on a tv needless to say. I would get a touch later. So a weekend passed and Chris gets to work Monday and is like "look what I found," his old touch that he didn't use. Stated it was lost previously. Uh huh. He's like, "you want it?" I said, "uh , how much?" He's like, "nothing, you can have it!, I don't even use it or like it" I was really like, for real! SUPER EXCITED AND STOKED! Could not wait to share my story with friends of how I got my touch. The guy was sweet and let co-workers say...sweet on me. He grew on me, then I left that place! :0)

Fast Forward

Amy told me he had a GF (I was happy, yet shocked), some chick that worked there. (*shaking head.) Anyway, he was promoted and was having a celebratory HH at one of the fav spots...The Park. I asked Amy to ask if I could come, he was like of course, yes! Excited! Amy ended up not able to attend so I dragged Nina who didn't remember the random white guy that sat near me. But by nights ends she was like, uh he likes you. His GF sitting there entire time! Guys. But, I laugh.

Ok, so that's all folks until I do B'Day Weekend with the BEST post.........

We shall see if I have other things to share, like the Texan I met a few weeks back (He is a bartender.)

Oooooh, I wanna sleep!

Saturday, September 8, 2007 1:26 p.m.

Thinking of you in so many ways really helps to brighten my day.
Thinking of that smile that lights up the dark.
Thinking of that laughter that gives you that extra spark.
Thinking of you and all that you've done.
Knowing inside my heart , you're always number one.
Thinking of you and wishing you well, I sure miss you if you couldn't tell.

Text message received.
Looked up- nice poem  "Agape" LOVE by Smruthi
2012

***You Should Be A Virgo***
What's good about you: you have a quiet determination and aren't swayed by emotions
What's bad about you: you are an insane perfectionist and easily find faults in others
In love: you are obsessed with making your partner happy
In friendship, you're: helpful and giving - eager to be a true friend
Your ideal job: poet, flight attendant, or natural healer
Your sense of fashion: casual, upscale, revealing, conservative - you look good in all of it
You like to pig out on: a well prepared five course meal

2007

Abundant of Blessings

Abundant of Blessings

June 28, 2007

Current mood: ecstatic Category: Blogging
I am TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!
Something I need to remind myself of daily for those down moments in life.

I have a praise report to share!
As always God has been continuing to bless me in my life. I was on a job search to pay for my summer class. Then I dropped one class and just decided I needed a second job to assist me in paying off my debt. I applied at TJ MAXX and they called me within the week. I was happy because I really wanted a job. But something in me said WAIT! So I turned down their job offer and I got online and applied for a few other positions....after waiting about a week I got a call from St. Francis Hospital asking me to come in for an interview. It was a successful interview and I was called back for a second one with the department in which I applied for. In the meantime I had also applied at Stormont Vail. They also called me in for an interview. St. Francis seemed to be on the ball with interviewing me; I was still awaiting a call from Stormont. They did. I had my second interview with Stormont with the entire department ( seven people ) and the last afternoon I received a job offer from Stormont! I was so EXCITED! MY first real job, benefits included! Praises be to GOD. Just yesterday St. Francis called me with a job offer as well in which I had to sadly decline, I am happy with my selection.
More good news!
I was awarded a $600 scholarship from my church to continue my education.
And to top things off, I am on my way to see all my family in the CITY, MOTOWN! WHAT WHAT
Holla at cha girl, i'm out.

Let It go

September 1, 2007 - Saturday
TIME TO POST Current mood: everybody in the club getting tipsy

Category: everybody in the club getting tipsy Blogging
This is not the place for this but who cares!!

I went out tonight and had a kick ass time (ha, who says that) Anyway....I got told ALL NIGHT how BEAUTIFUL I was. Which I already know to be true cuz I'm not conceited, I'm convinced!!
Anyway reason for post, I realized something. The few guys I've dated have never told me I was beautiful and they spent months some even years with me. How worthless is that. So Fuck You to all them guys who don't know how to treat a woman. All I got to say is:
If he ain't gonna love you the way he should, then let it go (If he ain't gonna)

If he ain't gonna treat you the way he should, then let it go (If he ain't gonna)

If he ain't gonna love you the way he should, then let it go (Let it gooo-ohhh)

If he aint gonna treat you the way he should, then let it go
YOU need to get it he don't wanna, love you the right way he ain't gonna.

It AIN'T WHERE HE'S AT, IT'S WHERE HE, WHERE HE WANTS TO BE!
I got it, plain and simple. Which is why I'm Single and NOT ACCEPTING APPS!
Thanks, have a great night all! BTW MY 22ND BIRTHDAY IS IN 3 DAYS!! GO ME!!

Time Drifts

Well no surprise there, but CB and I have drifted away. Says I value my friends opinions too much and take everything they say to heart. I've always been the same....actions speak louder. And I was told I could ask him anything. Amazing how that phrase is only words....also something else about me. It is rare that I think the worst until you show me otherwise and if others outside assume and KNOW nothing about us then again ACTIONS speak louder. 

Fell off after his b'day, stay off after mine. I tried weeks later to see where we were...he claims we're cool. That was on the 8th... stated he would call soon. Again, that was the 8th.

Will do separate b'day post. Celebration it was!

Guess who has been calling lately......yeah him. Interesting to me. At another low point in life. I am cordial and I have no animosity, we were friends before. Sure we can be again.

I sorta got used to the calls...sure they will stop, only come on his time anyway. People are so selfish. Think i'm done with this one, nothing more to say. Well, I could start in about the Hicks boy.

That was soooo long ago it seems. 2009...my summertime fling. Having him around certainly allowed me to move on past the asshole and spend time with someone that appreciated me. We spent endless nights together. I would be with him from evening into late in the eve, know we both had to get up early. That seemed sensual. We really weren't. I mean, there were moments and experiences and visions that could last a lifetime....I had to clear my thoughts on them and him. He left town August, just after his bday. Damn Leos, yet I still ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So he left, couple days before my bday, I got a FB message. He was so excited, he was getting married. Many thoughts went through me like how just long ago we were. I know he never told his wife about me and that summer as she would have been a fool to say yes so fast. 7 years together is a long time, but when you were apart for 5-6 months a lot happened. Then got married 2 months later. I dreaded the day. What's funnier now is I don't even remember how I got over him. I think time healed me. My favorite song was I'm Okay by Chrisette Michele. 

As more time went on I was able to not feel horrid things, he reached out on the book and we had a few inappropriate message exchanges. He wanted me to hold on to the moments shared and reminisce with him. I couldn't. I'm over it. And your married. Scum of men. Backtracking. Before he left town he asked if I was ready to move forward and I was 23, still in school. Told him I would not consider marriage until for another 2 years. He shared a lot with me, I let him talk as I often do with people. Let them share their soul while I listen intensely taking it all in. Decipher the words and throwing out the parts that were just for a better lack of terms. Words.

I did miss us and the time we had. Oh I know what I did now....shame. LOL! Engrossed myself more into the man that had been trying to get at me prior to Hicks arrival. Gave him a fighting chance. Amazing how some become such great friends. One would always have a upper hand over the other. 

I'm gonna move on, this is making me laugh. And I need to get ready for my work day. I have more to update since my latest promotion and Texas status. 
Until next time, hopefully sooner cause I am literally months behind on updates. And so many missed events. Wesley, Woody, and hmmm who else should I include. Oh we can share my special Chris (that annoyed me). LOL

Later!

wHoa

SOOOO here we are....months later. Last post was May 2012 and it was written months prior. Nothing has been said about current life events. Guess it has not been much interest. Tempted to read about the old me and how I used to once let the asshole drag me down. But not much in reading mood (common thing lately) nor am I in the mood to think of him.

So it's August 21, 2012....day of birth of 3 people I know and 2 of whom I was really close. One a best friend, then there is Sunshine who was "my girl" but life happened and she left me to rot in Austin. The 3rd is undecided. In fact, the 3rd has been the topic of all my discussions for a while now. We started speaking again last year around this time....Mr. Brackett. Bet if I look through all the post none will mention him. He was before the asshole. So I'll have to check my diary for his name.

I have been wanting to post for some time now but never taking the time. So much has happened. I don't know where to begin. April 2012....I LEFT that hellhole of a job to become FT at Calphalon which was my PT seasonal job since Oct 2011. Imagine that. Retail. Me. I took a salary CUT like whoa and I had just gotten a $2400 increase. Talk about not caring. I hated that place. Period. But like I have said...my health and happiness means more!

I was promoted at Calphalon (officially) in April and something else is just around the riverbend and I have not made 1 year yet! GOD IS AWESOME!!! I enjoy my position, manager is great, co-workers are fun and its so close to home. I have been able to lose weight from not sitting on my ass all day while being yelled at! It's grand I tell ya....things are coming together nicely. 

Momma gave me her car at the end of July and my parents got a new vehicle (smh) 2012 Pilot! IT IS NICE!! I been back to visit them quite a few times this year....I still love my place (even though its empty of people), it is safe, clean, and mine! 

Im really considering school this Spring....I was gonna try to be a teacher this year, but it was not for me and I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I need a skill. Degree was grand, but a skill is needed. I would like love in my life, but it is not time yet. Think I still have to grow and change, and become open.

So back to Mr. Brackett, I found myself really falling this time around. Back in 2006, I completely dissed him and he liked me so much but the feeling was not mutual. It took a lot years to get back in communication and its weird....he's feelings didn't change (so, he says) I am still trying to figure it out. Think he is still smelling himself and I'm gon let him do that from a distance. I am no longer anyone side girl.

Not sure what else to say, my home girl that I run the streets of Austin with is Nina R...my ace boom! Love her and it's weird. When we first met, I thought all bad things. My thoughts had truth, but she is the definition of a great friend and glad to have her in my life. She is from KCMO, moved here just months before me. Met at the hell hole. She has a young daughter to whom she gives all....Madam Butterfly (Zoe!!) and Ms. Marie her mom is the greatest! (My second family) I even have a room in their house LOL.

Still not sure what to say. I miss my parents like CRAZY, but hate Topeka so can't return. Rosa and I are no longer friends. She thinks nothing is wrong. Bottom line. She has dick, so friends are kicked. HA. And she lives in Austin now. Sure I won't be going over, but she wants me to see her place. I'm such a B! I told my mom....hmmmm, I still have my own place and she has a roommate....so much for 1st places. And I'm wrong for this but, she makes 30G more than I, and has a 2nd income....you do the math!!! Ok. It's out. Roommates are for children....put a ring on it! Quit shacking!

Guess this is becoming an update of me in last 2 years/rant/I don't care/sharing.

Until next time...must share Krystal visit for my upcoming B'Day..... 

And I never mentioned how the Hicks boy faired. Or how asshole thinks he can partake in my glory when I'm in town. 

I'm so over being the town whore. Ok. I said it in my blog. I used to discuss with a close friend of mine, but he is a habitual liar and although the baby loooooks like him, he denies her. Dog. Plus after he took advantage St. Patty 2010, we have not been the same. I am so all over the place. This should not be posted, talk about dirty laundry aired. But I feel admittance is the first step in changing.

Later!

Long Over Due x 2

It is time, enough time has passed and many opportunities lost.
( Got the first shot it before midnight.......)
I have not post for what literally seems like forever. My world as I know it or at least what I have been creating the last year is falling apart, from each seam. I hate. And I don't use that word so hear me when I say, this is real. I hate my "job", company, position, present state in life, who I was 1 year ago when deciding to run,

I have never been this miserable in life, even with all the broken hearts, feelings, and emotions. I have become bitter, anger, resentful, I have animosity toward people, ringing phones, rude people, helpless people, lazy people.

NONE OF THIS IS CHRIST LIKE

And to top it off, I want to cut myself off from the world, friend, parents. I just want to be left the hell alone. I want on many occasions to walk out the hell hole that is called a job. It brings down my spirit, my personality, my zeal. I am lacking in fellowship and companionship. I rather be alone and not bothered by anyone because I lash out at everyone. no one is exempt. I cuss often as expression even when talking to parents. I was trying to drink my issues away....then I started another job, no drinking and partying cease. How can one place bring you down so much??? I was smoking. Just all bad. I work two jobs, 7 days a week and still can't go into Wal-Mart and buy what I want. BILLS are the PITS! I did not sign up for this, went to school for 7 LONG ASS YEARS and I can not tell. That place makes me stupid, my 30G education is slowing fading away. I am always on the defense. And heaven forbid I want to fuss or complain about something. I get told to get over it and open my eyes to others who have it worst. I have no empathy, compassion, or sympathy for anyone. No emotion in me except I love my parents, everyone else can go away. And as much as I love my parents it breaks me down when they are combative with me. All I want is a listening ear, advice time to time. If I wanted someone to continue to attempt to dictate I would move to a communism union.
**Shot 2

Found in drafts, not sure when written. Sometime 2011. Prior to second job assume.

gyRIs wEEkend

February 2011

Weekend Fun...hell I have two to share now that it's August. Second one occured in July. Damn, I have not discussed the wedding from hell. WHERE HAVE I BEEN!! Then to update on the so-called knight, bastard is better. HA. This is fun, but again kicking myself for not sharing. I am not over writing, this is my thing and I have slacked and now I am trying to recall it all and write it down. #SHAMEFUL So my girl RP and her friends came to Austin for the weekend, really just one friend since the other lives here. My place was the crash pad since I live here and "un-boyfriended." RP and her best birthdays are close so they decided to do a late celebrate. Friday nite the ladies arrived after 8, close to 9. I have got off at 6, came home, finished cleaning and napped before anyone arrived. The plan was reverse Happy Hour at the Domain. So RP, Rice, and Cara arrived. We piled in the car and I drove us to the spot, since it was a long work day, no one wanted to freshen their look even though it was a Fri nite in a new town. You know I looked nice! And I had a fresh do. So anyway HH was super crowded and we decided to sit in the restaurant area (no specials) since there was no place to sit. Chicks think they uppity and cant stand around and enjoy the atmosphere. So in the dining area we received no service and was about to leave until the manager so gracisiously apologized and told us he would give us specials for his staff being so rude. It turned into a lovely evening!! We even sang HB to the girls over red velvet cake (their fav) overall good night. Got back to my place, of course I was trying to see my beau (at the time) I had been talking to him and texting him. So around midnight, he shows up. Comes in, in shock about the 2 white girls in my place then goes to my room and falls on bed. He so tired. Did not want to speak or socialize and I was so excited for them to meet him. I finally get his big ass (over 6 foot) to leave my room, told him they were sleeping there and I was sleeping on couch. So he sprawls over there. Sleep time was the worse but the next morning he wakes up "not remembering" it all since he was drunk. RP is totally annoyed with him by this time and I was just done for. To not speak was just rude but I took it wrong ahhhhhh. So anyway after all that, I cooked, we ate then the outlet was our stop. We started the am with mimosa's cause drinking is the best! Shopping was cool, did it like all day! Hit up the fav winery and came back to get ready for our evening out on sixth!! Hate to throw it in but it made the weekend, so here we are Sat night. Rice has not showered once and I mean once. Now I always take forever getting ready, it's what I do. But RP at least took a shower before going out Sat, her friend did not. Brought new clothes to wear, new panties, but not once did she WASH HER ASS. And hell you didn't have to take a shower for all I care but at least wash the areas (whore bath it is called) SICK!! So we meet up with Rice friend pissy (emily) on sixth for dinner. Went to the warehouse, it was decent. I make better pasta. Still drinking cuz you know I drink until it gets better (well you don't know me yet, but you will) So after dinner it is fun time, we start our night, in and out bars drinking and dancing and talking. A great time!! I was to be the driver since it was their birthday. But I still drink a lot. Night is finally over and we are taking the walk back to the car. I wore flats cuz I have experienced sixth and its nothing but up and down hill walking. We had parked in a garage, near Emily car. So its the 4 of us sinc Cara is mia since Fri night. We get to garage, RP and me leading the way and Pissy and Rice behind. Drunk, tired, feet hurt. You know. The norm. So I get behind them like come on, you ladies ok as we walking up the stairs. Mind you, I had been drinking a lot. SO I look at Emily and her front side is WET and I say what the hell happened to you, knowing we were not drinking and walking. Nor did we have liquid to go. Rice is trying to get me to hush. The chick PISSED herself. Now I have been drunk, tons. And I have even blacked out (bless my soul) bu to pee on yourself is beyond me. So that meant she had to ride home with us since she was super drunk, which meant she had to get her pissy ass in my car, #ROYALLY PISSED! But I got her home and cleaned out my car in the am. I even had a cigg that night after dealing with it all just to calm my nerve down. And they were high for some reason. Sunday came and Cara appears at my house in the afternoon with 2 desserts. BITCH there are 3 people here, 4 counting you. I know it's their bday but damn. I could not even retreat anyplace since they had slept in my room. SO I sat while they ate, then we all went for food at a chinese buffet suggested by Cara. I have not been back. Thanks. Once that weekend was over, I quickly preceded to cleaning my house and getting it back to normal and undirty like. I was good on the girls weekend. #CRAZINESS

Long Overdue

8-8-2011
It has been way too many months since I have written and I have been kicking myself about it the entire time. Just been lazy with working in hell and all. Started "blogettes" on my cell phone just to release. Here she goes: July 24th In every sense of the word I should kick myself for not blogging more often. There are people I love and enjoy being in their presence but at the end of our time together I appreciate me time again. Am I wrong for that?? Guess its possible. Where did this random come from.... well let me tell you. So I was invited to join my girl (which is a friend) on a trip to Dallas. She was taking her niece to the halfway point to meet up with her sister and one of her line sisters was also having a house warming that same day. So I decided to go, I don't do shit else every other weekend. It was me, her, her boyfriend, and her niece. Car ride was cool, we rode, talked, sang, danced, and I read in between time (used to being alone) At some point, I will introduce all my new Austin friends....they all rock in their own way! So anyway, nini, caleb, madyson, and I drove to Dallas. Once we took madyson to her mom we checked into a hotel (one room) mistake 1 but again I was invited on this trip, knowing her boo was coming, mistake 2 but not thinking at first we would stay overnight mistake 3. They were chill about it but just being in the same room for that extended time with a couple killed me, then the time out together, and dinner. I was done. They are really close and open with each other and that is not my thing. Personal body things should remain as such in my world. Although we all do those things that humans do to relieve themselves I do not discuss with anyone, like ever. Not about me personally. So yea that was part of conversation, and the being all close is where my phone message derived. The boyfriend was cool about it, he told me at any point to let him know if he was being too much since he knows he is usually all over her. He was good, it was my friend. Imagine two grown ass people, yes GROWN acting like love sick puppies or teens. Rachel put it best "like they were in heat." I was dumb for going but it was something to do and like I said, I didn't have shit else to do. When I told my mom about it, she was like I have never ever stayed in the same room as any of my girlfriends and their men. Weird. Yes, I know. Was not my first time either....but will be the last. Think I am done on that topic.

Silly Rabbit

2-23-2011 Upon updating this site and reading more into FB notes I see I have posts everywhere! I need a common place to go and write. Cancelled Tumblr page, and discontinued Blogspot, been on here (referring to Melodramatic) for like the last 6 months almost and have not wrote much. Just been copying and pasting. The ass switched over to Wordpress. I like this site, recommended by mystery man...who is no longer one. Why did "his wife" call me one morning and ask what was our relationship/! Are you F-ing kidding me! Momma always right! I had just started talking back to that man. Shame! I plan to update soon....a lot still has occurred. Met someone. Call him my knight. He is a true gentleman. But I am starting to think the ones before him are causing me to not let him in....and I like him (sad face) I gotta get it together! I swear I have seen, heard it all! And my ass is not that old! I gave up on love, then men started coming out the woodwork...then I left town and they flocked. Here I am toward the end of February and only one has my true interest, but others are biting at my ankle. What is the deal!!! Single...don't people get it. I like it. But he is making me want more, but only from him. I guess I can live with that. I will update later, then it will be a positive post about him.

Positive Update on me

May 13th 2010 It’s THURSDAY!!! And I am finished with the Spring semester of my undergrad! Had my last final yesterday afternoon and I believe it went wonderful!! I had many doubts going in but once I sat down, God put me at rest and that first page made me smile. I said, “I only wish each exam this semester in that class had been like that!” But it’s all good because I am DONE!!! I got home after my final all hyped up and had 3 more cards in the mailbox!! Grabbed a glass and poured some wine as I went to cleaning my room in prep of weekend guests. Then I took Crystal and her children to Gordman’s so she could find an outfit for going on grad night. We found something and it compliment her but she is making some exchanges. It’s her body and she has to wear it so ok. Then I met up with the crew. Last night was amazing like always!!! Hit up our usual spot…Blind Tiger for dinner. It was my parents, Carmen, Stacey, and Natalia joined us. Dinner was marvelous and I did not even drink lol I’m at work and it’s my FRIDAY because I am off tomorrow and Monday HAHA. Co-workers had planned me a surprise and although the surprise was ruined I felt the love…..I walked in to them saying SURPRISE!!! Had the extra office decorated and food EVERYWHERE……then my team of co-workers came to my desk and gave me a card and gift card for Hobby Lobby!! I can now buy me an gorgeous looking frame for my expensive sheet of paper! Off at 2, can’t wait for the rest of this exciting time in my life to continue……..

Update on Me

May 11th 2010 It’s Tuesday and I finished my first Final of the Spring semester a couple hours ago, it sucked! Sitting at work now. Tired as ever…..Got up at 5:30am today. 6:30am for the last 4 days, I dislike early days. Last weekend was Mother’s Day weekend and my twin’s Bachelor degree graduation. Went to Oklahoma City to see her walk, Rosa joined me which was really nice of her. Got back in town Sunday early afternoon and made it to church to surprise my mom and not have her have to sit through an entire Mother’s day service alone. We had dinner and shopped around T.J. Ma-xx…then I went to bed!! I really should have taken off a few days after getting back in town because my lack of energy has been reflected in my final project and exam…NOT COOL! So it’s Tues as previously stated and I get to walk THE STAGE OF MY LIFE IN 4 DAYS!! SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!! My Godparents and mom’s good friend Anita will be in town in 2 days and my side of the house is trolled out! Must get on the ball cleaning. I’ve been cramming and sleeping OK! My parents were dusting last night…using a long stick to get the corners of those high ceilings. I could not help but laugh to myself. But glad they did it. One more Final Wednesday afternoon…Finance UGH. If I’m really real with myself I may be taking Finance over, I already looked into when it is offered this summer. Lying to myself. But still glad to at least walk. At least that part is over even if I am not an official graduate. Summer graduate they call them because my last required course is Strategic Management.

Me day/After Effect

May 4th 2010 So Mondays are my days to myself…after class I washed my hair and hit the road for KC….was on the search for a grad dress! Found one hours and many stores later. Now I need SHOES :) I enjoyed my me time….was all over Johnson county and absolutely LOVED it. Thinking I need to hit apps hard in the area, find a town-home/apartment, and GO!!! I got around alright…was not lost :) at least and ended the night stopping thur Lawrence at TJ Maxx. Also in “search” for Mom’s Day gift. Not sure as to what I should get her just yet. Leave for OKC Friday, my twin graduates Saturday with her Bachelors. She is engaged too so will be dress shopping I guess. Until later. So I have been watching the NBA playoffs here and there…when I catch them and have been on the phone with him. He loves L.A.told him it was interesting to me that we were having a conversation while the game was on. I thought I remember him saying he did not talk when Lakers played…LOL I won’t complain.

Crab Update

May 4th 2010 Went for legs last Friday…had a blast. He realized right away he could not keep up. While he ate a lot…..he could not get down with my quick leg snapping abilities——I must admit, I am a pro. And that is with all that I do. It just clicked, God has given me incredible gifts it has just taken time for me to realize them. In all that I can do…. I do it well. Thank for Lord for gifts and giving me the insight to realize they exist.

KC

April 30th 2010 Headed to KC tonight with my girl, her dad, and my current love interest. I can’t hardly wait…..I just LOVE crab legs. Hope I don’t embarrass myself way too much, but he has been warned of how much I love them, and not to judge. Ha ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tough with my anti-love friend around though. She has a love interest, but always dogging on mine, and wonder why I don't share anything. He is extremely quiet when tired. Im not used to that, definitely a new side. Such a nice guy, really makes me wonder.

Him

April 29th 2010 (Moved from my Tumblr site) Who is this man that makes me smile ear to ear. Who is this man that my heart burns for. Who is he that will be the one to cause this woman not to fear. Who is he that I just love the sound of his voice. We talked last night, he was MIA for a week. Doing better this week. He always updates me on what’s going on in his life. Said trust was an issue of his but he seems to be so open with me. I just listen. Not much to share on the subject. I know I could tell him anything because so much has already been revealed. I miss him as soon as he is not around. I still have the gitty little girl feeling when we are in each others presence. I’m trying not to play hard ball, but I can’t allow it to be a slip and slide through……until next time.

A goof

1-16-2011

I have determined something about myself....I apparently am extremely funny. Always got people laughing....if they see my humor at least. I am just sarcastic, but when I say something my girl ni-ni cracks up! Why!?! I don't even know! I am sitting here watching old episodes of Private Practice....sucks not having tv, but it's all good. I don't need it. Just more excuse to be sitting on my rump. Think I will be calling it a night soon....gotta work in am in spite of it being a National Holiday. My job seems not to recognize the importance and true meaning of MLK Day!! Hope everyone has a great evening!!

A nEw year, a NEW ME!

1-16-2011 Wow it's been a few months since I wrote. A lot has changed and stayed the same. Left the nest, it was time to spread my wings. Mid Oct I was interviewed by Farmers Insurane Group in Austin, Texas! On 10/29 I was packing my car and driving South to Texas.....relocating, starting a new job, and starting a new level/journey in my life! I was offered a position that I gladly accepted. Thought I would be living with my friend in the beginning to start but the commute was far from San Antonio. I happen to live with my dad's sister which allowed for a relationship to be established! That commute lasted all of 3 weeks for me. I was determined to find my own place! I have been living on my own since the end of November and I ABSOLUTELY love it! I am excited to be in my own place, living my own life. Yes, it gets lonely at times but I have Internet now so I am good!! Bahahahaha...........my job is going. I have met some awesome people, none of which are from TX- that amazes me! My girls Ni-ni and Me-me are from Mizzou. I spend a lot of my time home....just reflecting. Making new discoveries and doing my best not to drive myself insane. My time finally came and I am so happy about it....never thought the day would come that I would leave KS. All in God's plan I was always told.....thank you Lord for giving me patience as you set me and molded me for what was destined for me. Have two weddings coming up, my twin and now my BEST!! She got engaged on New Years...she is planning a June Wedding. Which means I will be back in KS sooner than I think baaahahahaha.

Heart to Heart

10/1/2010
Morning All.
Almost wish I could post from my phone. Mom wanted to have a heart to heart last night because I don't seem happy....I'm not. I'm broke which means I can't shop when I want and I don't have a steady income. I want a job. Oh and I am bored senseless. This morning we were talking and she told me I should go look for a dress (see her influence) there are two weddings this month that we are attending and since Dillard's has a sale :) I should see if they have something for me. You know I'm going. Besides I have to go on that side of town to pick up my bridesmaid gown....it's in!! Alright well about to have a smoke with the morning coffee then off to mall :) I do get to work today though....at my PRN job.
YaY for me, I get out the house!!

Survey survey survey!! My fav!

9/30/2010
How do you pronounce the word 'aunt'? Ant or awnt? Awntie :) Auntie
Do you think the word 'prolly' instead of 'probably' is unprofessional? Prolly is def unprofessional. Is it even a word??
When was the last time you drank some water? Not sure.
On that note, if I gave you a glass right now, how much would you drink? Maybe half...depends on taste and if cold and have lemon and so on and so forth.
How often do your parents fight? Not much.
Have you ever had a paranormal experience? Nope.
Can you name a song by Tears for Fears? No
Name the first word that starts with 'S'. Soup
What starts with 'F' and ends with 'uckers'?. Fuddruckers- a restaurant
What was the first concert you ever went to? Jay-Z 1997
What is your favorite fountain drink? Cherry Coke
Nickelodeon or Disney: which is better? Disney.
Do you ever have dreams about the world ending? No, not dreams
Did you ever watch Lizzie McGuire? Uh no!
Are you currently upstairs or downstairs? Upstairs I suppose.
What band do you consider a 'disgrace' to your favorite music genre? hmmm hard one Can you run fast? I do ok.
On airplanes do you prefer the window seat or the aisle? Window Have you ever seen anyone throw up at an amusement park? No...do carnivals count? Speaking of amusement parks, do you like roller coasters and fast rides? I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS!!
Why are 'Silly Bandz' so popular? Do you like them? They are stupid and waste of $$ but kids love them so the creator is getting that dough
Do you like ladybugs or do you squish them? They are pretty cool......they get to live. Would you like to be a paparazzi or would you feel guilty? No
How many total white 'specks' do you have on your fingernails? A few...shit my nails look bad
Did you ever have a mood ring/necklace? What shape? Yes, a ring
 Are you currently using a laptop or a desktop? Laptop
 Are you better at drawing on paper or on the computer? Neither
 How far can you see out your bedroom window? To my neighbors house because its blocking any view from the side....the back one pretty far
Do you ever use Garageband? WHAT?
Does your family ever make fun of you? Yeah of course
Have you ever had the fire alarm go off in your house? No.
What about the burglar alarm? Yes it has but it was cuz I was too slow turning it off
How many photos do you have on your cell phone? Probably about 100 Can you tell the difference between true love and puppy love? Yes
What is your lucky number? 11
Did your 'golden birthday' already pass? Yes a few times over
Do you remember to floss every day? No.
Do you consider yourself an insightful person? At times.
What are your 3 favorite girls names? Acacia, Kallyssa, Kera
What is the weirdest nickname you've been called? Smurf
If you could become famous for anything, what would it be? Inventing something
What has been the most drastic change in your life in the past six months? job lost
What was the last cassette you listened to? not sure
Are you taller then your fridge? How about wider? No and no.
Do you have any friends that you'd rather not hang out with on occasion? Yes
What website do you visit most frequently? FB
Who was the last person you were in a car with over 20? Talia
Favourite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas.
 Do you own a credit card? Yes but I don't own it.
How long ago was your last haircut? Few weeks
When did you last watch the sun set? Not sure if I ever have...watched.
Was the last hotel you stayed in any good? UH NO! Was a nice one Hyatt Regency Downtown Chi and they had bed bugs HORRIBLE!!!

A day in the life......of ME!

Written 9/30/2010 I am listening to music afar while I write this post, can't make out the song. It's Thursday so I am looking forward to Grey's and Private Practice. Not having a job sucks ass!! I went to Dillard's sale yesterday and brought 2 pair of shoes with a credit line I had opened for an additional saving. I'm sad. But my shoes are cute!! Only 30 bucks spent :) I want some glasses of mimosa but I do not have any champayne (sp.) Oh it's Trey Songz now....Invented Sex. So anyway I am now able to play my FB games again which excites me. Ok reason for post. My mom comes into my room this morning to ask if she could take my leftovers for lunch today....who cares. I cooked the other day and had not gotten back to it. Why wake me at 6am to ask dumb questions...it was respectful but I would not have noticed if it were gone. (She maybe finally learning though. I usually bite her head off when she takes my stuff.) I am trying to get to Texas soon to visit and to relocate. Money is funny so I am putting off getting a ticket. Wish I could drive but its sooooo far to be alone. BTW I just graduated and the economy sucks so bad I lost my PT job of 3 years which was a downer but I seen it coming. I had been on low-work activity since July. God is just preparing me for whats to come next. I have been job applying like crazy. Since April I think. Also reason for post .......back to the shoes. I was out hanging with a friend and we stopped by Dillards because I had to return something for my dad....mind you I could have avoided shoe dept but I am a woman HELLO. So I knew the sale was only for cardholders so I applied.....silly girl. I was approved. Only spent $30 like I said but when I got home my mom had a tude. She later said how it was messed up that I was out shopping and I had just borrowed money from her to pay a credit card bill (I have a problem ok) S.N. She created it mind you. She offered the bill money, not that it makes it any better then she assumed I had used that card to buy my shoes. Which I didn't I could have debit it for all she knew but she ALWAYS assumes shit. Which is why I don't tell her anything. She is so negative. I have been really down lately and was glad to get out the house for a while. Yes I could have not spent money but I did so what. It's my money and I will pay her back. Very soon in fact so she can leave me alone....I told her I don't like oweing people anything. Point blank why I never ask people for anything. Get this when she offered the money she was so nice about it and how she wanted to help so I would not get behind in payment. And pay it back when you can...no rush. On day she gave me money she states how I broke the bank. UGH. So yesterday when bitching about shoes I brought she says how she gave me that did money and she really didn't have it. She could have paid for her teeth with that money but she had to tell them she didn't have the payment. I bet she talked to her husband and he disagreed with her lending me money. Oh well its over now. They will be paid soon. On another note.......I have never been without a job and its killing me emotionally. My prev job offers counseling. I will pass. It's not that bad...I know the economy sucks. But glad I have a degree to take me someplace in life....it will just take sometime and I have been patient all this time. What is a few more months. Really.

My addictions

Written 9/29/2010
My addictions your included so pay attention.

Ha.
I am addicted to love and real pleasure.
Addicted to: Pizza which is why I am pretty round.
Texting mostly you because you challenge me and leave me craving more.
Talking in general because I have a lot to say.
Twitter- how could I forget.
Randoms- convos, texts, thoughts, tweets
Clothes
Shoes
the color Purple, pink, teal, black, silver Money...always spending what I don't have. Which has to do w/ the next addiction.
Shopping in general. Farmville
 Cafe' world
Internet
Coach
Hazel eyes
Eye Candy
Yellow men
Alcohol, but really tequila shots, cranberry & vodka/lime (capecod)
MARGARITAS-Strawberry frozen I think that is all for now.

S.N. Oh and like all addictions they are not good for you...me in this case. I recognize it but do nothing to change it.

Wedding

Written 9/2010

Alright so about that March 2011 wedding....my "twin" is getting married. We have nothing in common but share a birthday so we call each other twin. She is a nut. Engaged to a guy that's well for nice use of words.....a jerk off. I'm not so sure she will make it down the aisle but I hope so because I brought my dress already. Get this 5 bridesmaids are required because he had to have 5 guys stand with him. She has no maid of honor because she could not decide and I told her to vote me out! I didn't want the extra drama. We tried dresses on in May because everyone (meaning 4 of us were available) She wanted them ordered by October something about the dress may not be in spring collection...so why we wearing them! Here its end of Sept and NEW 5th bridemaid is in non existence meaning she has not ordered her dress......which is another story. I am just annoyed with the whole thing, makes me not want to have a wedding. I swear she can't love him...marrying him for all the wrong reasons. Money being #1. Mad because he won't let her go on shopping sprees (sp.) with his hard earned money....claiming well he got it. Sure he does and probably trying to save it DULL but no she like I want to shop. She has a job but like he told her (according to her) how is it that you had money and were paying your bills alone when you had a PT job. Now she FT and always asking for money SMDH. He brought a car so you know she wanted one too....LOL was mad when he said no. Now she comes to me and tells me be honest if she wrong for what she says and does. So I let her know nicely of course but hell yea....she ain't trying to hear that. Get all quiet on me. Why tell me to be honest when u know your ass ain't trying to hear that!! CRAZY But hey who am I.....only the person she bitches to about him and his lack of everything else. And he sucks ass.....she complains of his weight and how all the other guys in her life used to do this and that always comparing him. (I tell her she can't do that) I almost feel bad for him. But then he blocked me on Twitter......WHO FUCKN DOES THAT!!! I was only on his dumb page bcuz she ranted about how he never mentioned her and wanted me to see. I know I am ranting but hell. People crazy. Reading this back I am laughing my ass off......crazy the entire post is me ranting about her but I will be happy once this wedding is over. Until next time......